In time for the holidays

Just in time for the holidays — the perfect pet for you or your loved one. Different colors and breeds, already crate trained — handy for when you want to toss them aside when the festivities get started. And no worries. These furry pets only sleep and stay quiet, NO MATTER WHAT is going on.

These perfect pups don’t require healthy food, potty breaks, any structure, guidance. Hey, take ’em out in the world or don’t, socialization smocialization! All they do is sleep!

Say farewell to drool, accidents, gnawed shoes, muddy pawprints, strained shoulder and walks in cruddy weather. What are you waiting for, get your perfect pet for the holidays!

Okay, if you’re feeling a little more ambitious, and you might be reading this because you’re interested in training and want to try your hand at it but still don’t like the drool or accidents or gnawed shoes, maybe an animatronic dinosaur is more your speed.

But if you REALLY want to get a real live wriggling pup for the holidays, think long and hard about whether or not you have the time and energy during the shorter and colder days of the year that will be necessary to raise your pup right. Because with the real one, to put it mildly, there are gonna be some dirty pawprints.

At least consider a Voucher or Coupon for a real pup or dog in the future — when you’re ready to take a real live creature on and shape him or her into your dream dog.